March 10, 2013
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Sunday 10th March
I had mentally resolved that I would get up and get dressed and actually get something done today.
On waking I felt the need to actually just stay in bed for a while.
So I lay there and watched a few episodes of 'Brothers & Sisters'
Then all of a sudden it was 10am and Azzan was coming in to tell me that they were actually going to D'Urville.
He made it all sound so urgent, that they were about to leave right now.
So I piled out of bed and staggered out to the kitchen to say goodbye.
Only to find that they were still packing the yacht and waiting for muffins to bake.
It was indeed a glorious day - far better than the previous two, so in actual fact Leann being sick was a blessing as they got to go on a great day - not just a good day!
I watched from up here as Azzan and Cat loaded their gear onto 'Vision'.
Then the muffins were ready.
Azzan and Adina had made them - blackcurrant and chocolate chip.
They were wonderful.
Only problem was they had used some different flour that I had stashed in the pantry.
They didn't know it is not a strong bread flour, I only use it for baking cakes etc.
So the muffins rose beautifully and tasted wonderful, but they wouldn't be removed whole from the pan.
The had to be scooped out and eaten with a spoon or from a plate with fingers - yum
So, we got a banana box and I placed two of the muffins pans complete with muffins straight in and Azzan carried them off to the yacht like that.
They could then eat them from the pans as and when they wanted.
Nek minnit - I see them motoring away from the wharf.
Never even came up to say goodbye
Took them ages to see their mother standing forlornly on the deck waving farewell
Joy called up.
We had a long chat - the tears began flowing, can't seem to control the when and where of their appearance these days.
Then I saw a boat zooming into the bay.
It was Josh - I wasn't expecting him till after lunch - it was only 11:30am and I was still in my dressing gown - oops!
So Joy and I finished our conversations while Shoshannah went to greet our visitors.
I zipped quickly into the shower and when I finally made it into the kitchen Anson & Marah were here too.
We sat around talking and eating the rest of Azzan's muffins.
Was trying to tell Anson what Azzan had told me last night re his conversations with his Daddy - and the tears began again.
Cat emailed me some photos from the yacht.
This is Azzan holding some krill.
There are heaps around at present - must be our warmer water temperatures.
Then she sent me these.
Doesn't it look idyllic?
I love, love, love this photo of Azzan playing with a baby seal.
Josh and his friend left mid arvo.
Phoebe & Beth arrived up in the dinghy.
Phoebe is loving being able to use it - it is giving her freedom which is great.
She took Beth out fishing later on.
Anson cut up the 2 muttons Seb had killed.
Phoebe helped pack it up.
Then she and Beth left and I spent some time printing out some photos for Marah.
After they left I had fun making up a montage for Anson of him and his Dad.
Turned out really well.
Shoshannah cooked a special dinner for just her and me.
She made a delicious chicken drumstick stirfry/casserole which I had with boiled potatoes and salad and she had rice & salad.
While it was all cooking she took Sky for a walk and delivered the montage to Marah for me.
She didnt take long thankfully as we were both starving hungry.
Dinner was delicious.
We reclined on the couch and ate our meals while watching the first episode of Rosemary & Thyme.
Nicky gave me the dvd for my birthday and it was the first chance we had to watch it.
I love anything with Felicity Kendall so I figured it would be fun to watch.
Had a call from Paul needing to discuss business.
Then I got stuck into cleaning up the office desk.
Managed to make some room and then paid bills.
Feel like I have made a little progress today.
Went to say goodnight to Shoshannah and we ended up having a cry together.
She is feeling like me.
Cannot comprehend that her Dad is not here and is never doming home.
Just feels so unreal.
When he was here he unwittingly set boundaries for me, protected me from myself.
Now he is not here I am not going to sleep at night until late, I am not getting up in the mornings till late.
The drive and strive to please him and help him are gone.
I am also feeling jumpy and nervous when I hear noises outside.
It is not like me to be afraid like this.
I don't like it.
Shoshannah was looking through all the old cds of photos and found these two which I really like.
Thought I would share them to finish up here tonight on a happy note.
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